How Not to Be an Optimist

Last week, my hairdresser was explaining how, one day after buying a dozen eggs, she yanked open the refrigerator and watched the carton fall to the floor — all 12 of them shattering. “I knew I should have put them away properly but instead I just shoved the whole container into the egg rack.”
Instead of [...]

I Hate You, World

And so, because of my, ehem, blistering fury at all living things right now, I will treat you to some delicious images, so that you may feel my pain.

This is what dumping a pot of boiling water on your thigh looks like. This is also what a second-degree burn looks like. This is also what [...]