Up for Air

Why did I ever think I could pull off an 80-hour workweek? I wonder if this has anything to do with the reason why I’m sick for the third time this month. Oops, I’ve already wasted too much time. Must get back to work. I’ll be back when I get my life back. Sanity? Not [...]

Don’t You Hate When That Happens?

File this under “Why Me?”:
Tell me if this has ever happened to you. You’re feeling run down, and are pretty sure you’re getting sick — which is really great timing, because in two days you’re going on vacation to your uncle’s beach house. Maybe it’s for the best, you’re thinking, because the forecast says it’s [...]

Time to Make the Donuts

It’s National Doughnut Day! In honor of NDD, I wanted to post a picture of me with Mr. “Time to Make the Doughnuts” Guy from Dunkin’ Donuts that I took back in the day before digital cameras. No, I wasn’t 12 at the time. I’m just that old.
Of course, that involved finding the photo, which [...]

Aesop, Revisited

The other day, I was walking my dog and admiring all of the flowering trees. I never look up, because when I do, I end up performing a face plant due to uneven sidewalks, potholes, trap doors, holes to other dimensions — what have you. I went down just a week or so ago, right [...]

Missing: One Head with Hair

I panic when I have to talk to people I don’t know, and end up saying things like, “Excuse me, I have to go find my hair.” That’s what I ended up saying at my boyfriend’s 20-year high school reunion last weekend.
He went to a prestigious all-boy’s prep school in Boston, so of course everyone [...]

How Not to Be an Optimist

Last week, my hairdresser was explaining how, one day after buying a dozen eggs, she yanked open the refrigerator and watched the carton fall to the floor — all 12 of them shattering. “I knew I should have put them away properly but instead I just shoved the whole container into the egg rack.”
Instead of [...]

Couples Therapy or Anal Sex

So I was recently asked to participate in this year’s NYC Lit Crawl, which is just as it sounds — a pub crawl where literary-type drunkards (and aren’t they all?) are supposed to drag ass bar to bar without getting lost, and then settle in quietly to listen to a bunch of us mumble our [...]

Brazen Bridezilla Commits Crime of Passion

Don’t you hate it when the thing you really want to write about can’t be written about because of the people who read the things you write about? Alas, another time, in another life, at another more anonymous URL, perhaps you will hear my tale.
Then there’s the other story I’d like to share that I [...]

Wedding-Fueled Anxiety and Insomnia

About a month ago, Ryan proposed to me (I said yes). Things were wonderful until a week or two later when I started to do some preliminary wedding planning. I figured we’d just set a budget, choose a venue, set a date, and then put the whole thing on hold for awhile. No big deal, [...]

Why Women Still Do the Bulk of Housework

I caught Ryan spitting on the kitchen counter the other night as we were clearing the dishes. It was like one of those rare, never-before-caught-on-tape moments — male rituals in the wild. He then rubbed it into the counter with his napkin, assessed his work, and spit again. “WHAT are you doing?” I asked. “You’re [...]