Time to Make the Donuts

It’s National Doughnut Day! In honor of NDD, I wanted to post a picture of me with Mr. “Time to Make the Doughnuts” Guy from Dunkin’ Donuts that I took back in the day before digital cameras. No, I wasn’t 12 at the time. I’m just that old.

Of course, that involved finding the photo, which meant going through bags of photos that were never put in photo albums. But first I had to find these bags of photos, which you’d think would be easy, since I just spent the last weekend clearing out every closet and drawer in our entire apartment. But as it turns out, when you clean out your place so you can actually find things again, you end up not being able to find anything because you can’t remember where you so neatly put these things.

Finally, photo in hand, I popped it into our trusty old scanner which, it turns out, is old, but not so trusty. My computer refuses to recognize the piece of equipment, so I have to use Ryan’s computer. You’d think it would be as simple as pressing the scan button on the scanner, wouldn’t you? But it’s never that easy. And, doesn’t it figure, Ryan has removed the software icon from his system tray. Fun. So I have to go poking around his computer to find it. Sorry, Ryan — I swear I wasn’t snooping. And…. Presto! Now can I scan the stupid photo?

I launch the software, but it won’t open. Naturally. That’s okay. I’m resourceful. I’ll just take a picture of the picture. But where the hell is my digital camera? Again, I put it somewhere in my massive clean sweep last weekend, but where, I have nooo recollection whatsoever. Bastard. Well, I guess I can take a picture with my iPhone, right? Oh, how naive of me. That would be easy — and life, my friends, is never easy. My iPhone has been giving me all kinds of trouble ever since I got caught out in a downpour without an umbrella. I needed to keep my iPhone out, because I had no idea where I was or where I was going, and was going to rely on the Google maps application to show me the way. This, because my friends were making fun of me for printing out maps and carrying them around with me when I have a perfectly good iPhone that will do the same thing. Except, that is, when it’s raining. This is why I never like to depend on technology. Because. You. Can’t.

So back I go to dig up my camera. A-ha! But it’s completely dead. Gah! So now here I sit typing about my trevails, pissed off about donut day, and waiting for my camera to charge. Really, the photo isn’t worth the trouble — at all. But when you’ve invested this much time into something, don’t you  feel like you’ve just got to go through with it? Like, I would never be the type to call off an engagement after a year of planning the wedding even if Ryan were pulling a “Jon and Kate Plus Eight” stunt of “showing women his car.” Is that what we’re calling your junk these days? Seriously, you’re half-Asian. It’s not that big. Nope, I’d likely go through with the whole ridiculous affair and then file for divorce a day later. If you can’t get a refund, you might as well enjoy the party, right?

So, without further ado, I give you Fred, the Dunkin Donuts mascot, who, I might add, was really, really creepy. He kept muttering about Pavlov’s bell, which I suppose makes sense, given the indentured servitude of his commercials.

Fred, the Dunkin Donuts guy

BTW – they’re giving out free donuts with a cup of coffee purchase today. I myself prefer Krispy Kremes (sorry, Fred), and they’re giving out donuts without having to purchase anything. I would run out and get one, but something tells me it just wouldn’t be that easy.