I haven’t moved from my desk all day today, in part because of my cute designer heels - they pinch at the toes and flip off my feet when I walk. It’s unfortunate. Now I am thirsty and the water cooler is so very far away. Now that I’m thinking about it, I realize I can’t feel my toes. Good thing everyone can see under my desk to witness just how cute my shoes that are cutting off my circulation are. At least the doctors who amputate will get to admire them briefly. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. What a waste.”
I started a first-person writing class last week and spent all weekend trying to complete the first assignment. I’m getting there. The essay is about, superficially anyway, the beginnings of my current relationship. Recovered alcoholic meets “party girl.” Such a great euphemism for binge drinking and blacking out, isn’t it?
In other news, my quivering lips aren’t the only body parts garnering attention. My bowels are soon to be famous, too. They’ll be featured in an upcoming Health article about alternative health remedies. Like my lips, they enjoy a good spasm from time to time. Think intestinal charley horse. It feels great. You’re missing out, truly.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: blackouts, party girl, binge drinking, irritable bowels, muscle spasms, shoes, charley horse
I’ve always wondered why us women are willing to practically mutilate our feet- all for fashion. I have scars on the sides of my feet from a pair of shoes I used to go clubbing in waaay back in the day. You know, before the scars of what giving birth to children will do to you.
I actually have nerve damage in my feet from a cute pair of shoes I used to have. You’d better stop now, or you’ll end up like me…wearing orthotics in your shoes at the ripe old age of 36. Think Estelle Getty.